by Ass-itchingly Philly…

I just turned fifty and if it isn’t bad enough I’m a hypochondriac, now I’m a hypochondriac with hemorrhoids. I first discovered there was something wrong when I noticed I had spotting in my underwear. Spotting? But that’s girl’s stuff. The spotting evolved into a red skid mark, then full-blown red paint all over my ass. I was sure I was done for.

Read the whole anally-bleedingly story…

FLASHBYTES: THE WHOLE STORY IN 5 MINUTES OR LESS.

Hooray for Hemorrhoids is the latest in the Flashbytes series from worst-selling author Philip Loyd. When asked what the inspiration for this one was, all Loyd had to say was, “Don’t want to touch this.”

Philip Loyd loves fat chicks and cheap beer, though not necessarily in that order. Loyd has worked for TheStreet.com, Forbes, and McGraw Hill, each time running for his life as if waking up from a bad dream. Loyd lives in Dumbass, Texas.  PhilipLoyd.com