by Ree Miller… Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you said what you were really thinking? Rather than filtering yourself the way we all do? At work today, I found out. “Good morning, Ree,” the always pleasant receptionist said as I entered the lobby. “How are you today?” I intended to…
by Evelly Philly… Evel Knievel was one of a kind. During the 1970s, there was no one on planet Earth more famous than Robert Craig “Evel” Knievel Jr., not even Chairman Mao. All pimped out in his iconic red, white, and blue jump suit, he was more than just a star, he was a real-life…
by Chris Hlad… I don’t know why I paid the parking meter. Obviously, I didn’t need to. I’m pretty certain I did it because it was the right thing to do, and despite my many faults, I always try to do what is right. I didn’t bother looking at the surf from atop the cliff;…
by Pissy Philly… The year was 2081, and everybody was finally equal. Wait, that’s another story. Still, you get the idea. And anyway, equality came a long time before that. While our story does take place in the very same year, 2081, it’s not about equality but instead the nicing-down of America in the years…
by Ree Miller… Crazy Daisy is alone at the bar, without her estranged husband Provo or his evil, goat-eyed twin brother Orem. She is unusually well-groomed, wearing a sleeveless, red-sheath dress. “Wow,” says bartender Melissa, “I didn’t realize you had such great guns.” “Guns? How’d you know about my guns?” Daisy asks. “I mean your…
by Chatty Philly… I met her in Topeka. No, it was Emporia. No, it was Wichita. Doesn’t matter. What I do remember is that I met her in a saloon. I was working the i35 circuit at the time, making the Kansas tornado run on my way to Oklahoma. I remember she was standing there…
by Gabby Philly… They called him the Safety president. President Anthony Aegis. He ran on sweeping reforms to make America safe again. To save lives. He wasn’t kidding. Anthony Aegis was the most honest and truthful candidate the country had ever seen. It was his strict adherence to the truth, as much as it was…
by Jihady Philly… I got this magazine in the mail the today. It’s called Ignite: The Lifestyle Magazine for Aspiring Jihadists and Bomb Makers. Not sure why it came here. So I called the 1-800 number and got a hold of customer service. They told me there must have been some kind of mix-up and…
by Stinky Philly… I should have packed it in and moved to a desert island a long time ago when I still had the chance. When I was young. Instead, just like Billy Clyde Tuggle, I remained right here in the snake pit while society ate away at me like a bunch of cannibals. Or…
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