But there was no stopping Brother Jerry when he set his mind to something. He could hear his people as they started singing down below. First, just the soft whisper of a tune; but then, as more people joined in, it was almost like a church choir. It was time for a song … I…
With special guest star, Chemise Lacoste. Also, special guest appearances by Ted Handsome and Fletch… My last acid trip: it wasn’t good. In fact, it was a total disaster. California sober, my ass. I had just come from the Grateful Dead concert and was having so much fun I wasn’t ready to come down yet.…
Who here hasn’t ever had to confront the loud neighbor? In my day, I was exactly that neighbor. Then I discovered the Grateful Dead. There goes the neighborhood… “Hey,” said the man to his neighbor. “Just two songs. real quick. I promise.” “Sure,” she said. No problem. Just two songs” At 4am she was pounding…
Ted Bundy was a rock star. He’s the only serial killer ever to escape prison; and he did it not just once, but twice. He’s also the only serial killer brave enough to wear a bowtie in public. Imagine, Ted Bundy free after all these years… They let Ted Bundy out of jail the other…
by Murderously Philly… “Hi, my name is Ted” I say to everybody, “and I’m a serial killer.” “Hi, Ted,” says everybody. Everybody always says Hi. Welcome to Serial Killers Anonymous, a twelve-step program for rippers, rapers, stabbers, stranglers, axe murderers, chainsaw enthusiasts, and just about every type person who ever murdered over and over again,…
Well everybody, it finally happened: We’re in! We finally got published in The Satirist. God help ’em. What they want to do with the likes of us, I’ll never know. But it’s up and LIVE, the satiric piece #MeToo!!!, by your humble narrator. Let’s just hope they fare better than those poor schlubs over at…
by Serengeti Philly… The events in this story are true. I have written them down here almost verbatim, just as my good friend Zeudi Araya explained them to me. Whether you believe that a real-life, American hippopotamus could be found rampaging through the terminal at New York’s JFK Airport or not—or that there even is…
by Born Again Philly… I’ll never forget how I came to find Jesus, and just how close I came to meeting my maker. The year was 1974 and I was living in Salt Lake City, right smack dab in the middle of Mormon country. I was a wanna-be Buddhist who had come for the George…
by Front Row Philly… It was the old gang together again. What was left of it, anyway. It was Graham Kraker, Ted Danson and me. I was going to have to make this trip without my attorney, always a dicey affair. And who is Rockin’ Rodney? That’s the question we find ourselves still asking, even…
by Sinophobia Philly… “You know who’s to blame for global warming, right?” said my friend Nathan Niederhoffer. I had a pretty good idea who he had in mind. “The Chinese.” Bingo. Nathan works in the insurance game. He’s a front man for the Pillars of Hercules Life Insurance Company, otherwise known as: The Herc. Read…
