#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I think I’ll become an alcoholic. Why not? Sounds easy enough. I already lost my job, I’m about to lose my house, what else have I got to lose? A good friend of mine is an alcoholic. He’s got a job, in fact, just because he’s an alcoholic. He met his new boss…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… The events in this story are true. I have written them down here almost verbatim, just as my good friend Zeudi Araya explained them to me. Whether you believe that a real-life, American hippopotamus could be found rampaging through the terminal at New York’s JFK Airport or not—or that there even is…
#tedbundy It doesn’t get any creepier than Ted Bundy. Bundy lived in Salt Lake City in 1974 while studying law at the University of Utah. During his time in the state, he abducted, assaulted, and murdered several young women. He also, during his time there, became very involved in the Mormon church. So much so…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… It was the old gang together again. What was left of it, anyway. It was Graham Kraker, Ted Danson and me. I was going to have to make this trip without my attorney, always a dicey affair. And who is Rockin’ Rodney? That’s the question we find ourselves still asking, even today. It…
by Sinophobia Philly… “You know who’s to blame for global warming, right?” said my friend Nathan Niederhoffer. I had a pretty good idea who he had in mind. “The Chinese.” Bingo. Nathan works in the insurance game. He’s a front man for the Pillars of Hercules Life Insurance Company, otherwise known as: The Herc. Read…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… This is the story of Ricky Rude. Or maybe it’s the story of Benyomen Fishenshitz. Either way, it all starts with Ricky. You see, Ricky was this six-year old I knew way back in Kindergarten. Ricky was one of those kids who had a nickname for everyone. He was the kind of bully…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… All I remember is that the sign above the door said MASSAGE—plain as day—and boy was I ever in need of one. I had a crick in my neck so bad, my head felt like it was screwed on sideways. So I plopped down my $200 (a little pricey for a massage,…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I went down to the bank the other day to cash my paycheck and what I found was as hysterical as it was bizarre. I didn’t know the bank had suddenly turned into Comedy Central. I first noticed something wrong when I approached the teller. She was laughing her head off when I…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… My dad died from cancer. My two uncles died from cancer. My granddad, too. So you can imagine my annoyance when I started feeling tired all the time, then coughing and wheezing and spitting up blood. No, sir. I wasn’t getting cancer, too. Not me. In fact, it was right then and there…
by House-flipping Philly… I always wanted to be with a blonde. A TRUE blonde, not some brunette on summer vacation. I dated a blonde back when I was in high school. She was modest, so we used to do it in the dark. Eventually, we got to the point where she’d let me light a…