MAD Magazine - Issue 3 Cover -

MAD Magazine Issue 3

January 1953… Issue three takes on Dragnet with the story, “Dragged Net”, from Bill Elder. Wally Wood does “V-Vampires;” John Severin draws “Sheik of Araby” and Jack Davis writes the “Long Stranger.” Harvey Kurtzman does the cover art. .    

They Call Me Professor by Philip Loyd

They Call Me Professor

#philiployd #realwritersmarket… “Get out your Sunday best,” said my wife.  “He’s coming!  He’s really coming!” Who?  Who’s coming, I thought? But I dare not ask. When my wife gets excited like this, the best thing to do is just stay out of her way.  Yes, I was a henpecked husband just like out of a…

Illegalz

#philiployd #realwritersmarket… The year was 2075 and the problem with illegals was only getting worse.  Illegals taking jobs; illegals committing crimes; illegals sucking up government resources and contributing nothing to society.  The year was 2075 and the country had had enough.  The crackdown was on. There was a great wall in the country.  It had…

O.B.E. by Philip Loyd

O.B.E.

#philiployd #realwritersmarket…    “My name is John Fielder Smith.  That’s not my real name.  My real name is Go Fuck Yourself.  But for our purposes here you can just call me Johnny Boy.  I was first told the story of O.B.E. by an ex-DEA agent who went by the name of Peter North.  That’s not…

#metoo

Me Too

#philiployd #realwritersmarket…     . “I’m proud to say: I am now officially a member of the Me Too movement. I know I’m a man, but men can be members too. It’s not gender that determines eligibility, it’s understanding.” Read the whole p-whipped story…   Before trying his hand at fiction, Philip Loyd spent a…

Apolitics Now

#philiployd #realwritersmarket… “Billingham Bokstock was born with an elephant’s head. A real, live elephant’s head. Not only was he the first ever trunk-swinging, tusk-bearing, floppy-eared candidate to run for president of the United States, he was twelve feet tall. The first time he walked into a press conference, his head went crashing into the doorway…

Then She Took the Call by Philip Loyd

Then, She Took the Call

#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I used to be a jackal. That is to say, I once was a reporter. A journalist. A scavenger of the lowest kind. You know, like in the movie Nightcrawler. I’m all better now, thank God. Lucky for me, I woke up just in the nick of time. Read the whole feeding-frenzy story……

My Time Spent in the Mob by Philip Loyd

My Time Spent in the Mob

#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I was in the Park when I heard the news about Wags Wagglestein, my attorney.  Next thing I knew I was headed downtown.  It had been a long time since I had been down to Mulberry Street, and suddenly I was feeling nostalgic. Read the whole spaghetti-eating story…   Before trying his hand…

Hooray for Hemorrhoids by Philip Loyd

Hooray for Hemorrhoids

#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I just turned fifty and if it isn’t bad enough I’m a hypochondriac, now I’m a hypochondriac with hemorrhoids. I first discovered there was something wrong when I noticed I had spotting in my underwear. Spotting? But that’s girl’s stuff. The spotting evolved into a red skid mark, then full-blown red paint all…