#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I think I’ll become an alcoholic. Why not? Sounds easy enough. I already lost my job, I’m about to lose my house, what else have I got to lose? A good friend of mine is an alcoholic. He’s got a job, in fact, just because he’s an alcoholic. He met his new boss…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… Ever wonder why women wear tight pants? I had no idea until my girlfriend told me. The whole thing with tight pants all began, believe it or not, because the clitoris has a hood. No joke. The clitoral hood covers the clitoris itself, sometimes entirely, and can often be a hindrance to the…
by Carnivorously Philly… “Raspberry, or strawberry, those are my favorite flavor jelly donuts. Maybe lemon, but never peach. And wouldn’t you know, that’s just the flavor she had on, peach? The edible panties, I mean. They were teeny and tight and not much more than a light snack. I hate peach.” Read the whole story……
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… Oh, my God. I just killed Billy Joel. The Piano Man. The Stranger. Captain Jack. He was lying right there in the middle of the road, his motorcycle in ruins. Dead as a doornail. At least, I think he’s dead. He’s not moving. He’s not responding. There’s blood everywhere. Sweet Jesus, what have…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… Then it happened. It finally happened. He finally found his calling. He really did. He finally found a uniform he could stick with. Before I tell you what his calling was though, there’s something you should know first. Read the whole penniless story… Before trying his hand at fiction, Philip Loyd spent…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… “Hi, my name is Jon. That’s right, Jon, without the H. No, I’m not pretentious; I’m an alcoholic. Today is my birthday. Today, I’m 365 days sober. It’s been exactly one year to the day since my last drink. One year since I’ve driven drunk. One year since I’ve blacked out. One year…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… “The Minks TV News Network was the highest-rated game in town. Its boss, Landon Lech, not only had fifty years under his belt, he knew the industry like nobody’s business. “Lech knew exactly what the American public wanted to see. That’s precisely why, in an industry dominated by left-wing agitators, Lech founded the…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… I found this strange, dusty-old circular thingy in my dad’s garage the other day. At first I thought it was a Frisbee, but there was nowhere to grab hold of it. If you tried catching it, it might just slice your fingers off. Needless to say, it wasn’t a Frisbee. “That’s a Record,”…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… “All of a sudden a barroom broke out. How do you know when a barroom brawl breaks out? It’s just like in the movies. First, a chair gets kicked out. Then, someone breaks a bottle in half. Then, arms start spinning around like airplane propellers. It all happens in just a matter of…
#philiployd #realwritersmarket… “I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately. Go figure. All these attacks. Everywhere. It got me to thinking: If that rabble-rouser with the comb-over can go on and on about suing everybody, why can’t I? Makes sense to me. The thing is, I’ve got a real case.” Read the whole indefensible story……
